How Senior Year is Gonna Kill Me

As you may or may not have been able to guess by now, I'm a senior in high school.  Which means I have to battle the gruesome Senior Slide.

You know, at first, I thought that it was some really awesome ride or something that only seniors in high school went down.

Then I got out of Elementary School.


So I started thinking, Gee Whiz!  This homework stuff is a breeze!  How could anybody not do it?

Then I started to take advanced classes.

So not only do I have to battle the gruesome Senior Slide, I get to do it with hella advanced courses.

And drawing.  Yeah, that art class is gonna KILL my GPA.

And it's not like I even try and do it either!  It just happens.

And it kinda scares me.

Like when I hear that final bell ring, suddenly I'm all:

Don't ask about the claw hands.  They scare me, too.

But seriously, the excitement I feel about getting out of that hellhole--uh, high school is equal to that whole "last day of second grade" feeling.

And I'm feeling it every day.

It's like cocaine to me.

Actually, no it isn't.  It's probably the fact that the last two periods are filled with the kind of people I try to avoid in real life.  I mean this in the nicest way, but holy cow I had no idea how much I could miss smart people.

But anyway, I get home and I'm all:

Thank you, Political Science teacher, who, by the way, is STILL using COMIC SANS.

What she doesn't realize is that once I get online, my attention span goes from about twenty minutes to about twenty seconds.  So I go online, make it to the website, copy the assignment down quick, and quick exit out of the Internet before I can do any damage to my Facebook wall.

Oh yeah!  I did it!  I didn't procrastinate or ANYTHING! It's all good!  Man, I'm getting better at not procrastinating, I'm gonna...wait, hold on...

NO!  I won't let you win, Facebook!  Mark Zuckerburg, I swear you will get my mindless hours of stalking and poking some other time!  This is vital to my passing this class!  LOG OUT!!!

HA!  I did it!  I made it off of that blue-and-white GPA death trap!  Take THAT, Zuckerburg!  Ha!  Ha ha ha! Ha!  MAN, I'm good...I'm gonna...start...that...

Damn it, Blogger.  Curse you for making me completely paranoid about who in the world is reading about my life.

Fortunately, this whole blog isn't that distracting (as I write this really long post instead of writing a paper about how Huckleberry Finn shouldn't be banned from schools), so I'm back to the homework in a matter of minutes, which is probably good, because that Poli Sci test will be a tough one, for sure.  But then...

And then, suddenly and without warning, I feel light and happy!  I can have all of a whole weekend to do my stuff!  So therefore, I HAVE NO NEED TO DO IT TONIGHT!

Curse you, Senior Slide.

So back to Facebook I go, and I spend about twenty minutes or so doing absolutely nothing, like usual, when...

Yeah.  I'm such an idiot.  I just forgot that I have another mountain of Calculus homework.  This time, I'm dedicated.  Not only do I log off of Blogger, but I log off of Facebook and even the COMPUTER.

THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID COMPUTER.

You know what just hit the fan right there.

So I sit down and take a look at the math assignment full of derivatives and nonsense that I will never use in my field of study or past times.

And even my super-awesome BRICK of a calculator can't hold my attention and soon enough I'm doodling all over my book cover.

NO!  NOT THIS TIME!  SENIOR SLIDE, YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME!

Back to the calculus!  Back to the math!  Back to the...

...Facebook?  How is that even possible?  NO!  Log OFF!  I need to do math!  MATH! GAHHHH!

Then it hits me.  I suddenly come to another realization.

I think of how my math teacher is in cahoots with my Political Science teacher, and then thank everyone everywhere (Okay, no I don't) because of how great this situation is.  All I have left for homework is just a couple questions and a chapter to read and a paper to write in English class!

Believe it or not, I plow through it all in like an hour and am back raising hell on the Facebook.

I always loved English class.

But then the weekend comes.  And I have a huge mountain of political science and calculus to do.  But it's Friday, and as the great Rebecca Black once said, "Gotta get down on Friday," that means I should.

Granted, she didn't know what "getting down" means, and my variation of "getting down" is just short for "getting down on myself because I'm a loser with a blog and no life," but that's beside the point.

This is how my weekend goes.

SENIOR SLIDE I WILL END YOUR REIGN OF TERROR...

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight after this game of Minesweeper.