More Like No WAY November

So a year or so ago, I came across this test of masculinity called "No Shave November."

And if you're a smart reader, you'll know that I'm not actually up for this whole "Avoid the Razor Like the Plague" thing.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I personally think it's awesome that we have the ability to become lumberjacks in such an organized fashion.

Yeah.  You try and put the words "lumberjack" and "organized" in the same sentence.

And if you CAN do that, try "lumberjack" and "fashion."

Gotcha there, huh?

But back to my previous point.  I think it's pretty funny, and I personally hate the whole concept of trying to avoid death, mutilation and injury while your own hand puts blades up to your neck just as much as the next guy, but in my case, shaving isn't exactly your average haircut.

Actually, none of my HAIRCUTS are all that average either, but I'm pretty sure a boring haircut is still not a typical shaving situation for me.  And here's why.  In a convenient table, for all you organized, fashionable lumberjacks out there!

Did I just use those words in one sentence again?

I'm good at this.

Stupid genetics.

So, needless to say, I'm staying clean shaven this "No Way" November.

Because if I can't grow a beard like Lord of the Rings, I don't see the point in living.

And by living, I mean growing a beard.

I would make a horrible caveman.

But on a brighter note, I drew a lizard!

Hey, sometimes I need a little pick-me-up, too.

But back to shaving.  See, normally, I wouldn't make a big deal about having a horrible beard, and from previous experience, I would make a horrible lumberjack anyway.  Plaid just isn't my thing.  But there's also another story.  It involves a small hatchet, a few logs, and a man who looks like Jesus.  But I'll tell you that some other time, because I'll do anything for a few extra views.

I'm such a great person, lemme tell ya.

Besides,  it's hard enough to pay attention in class.  If I had a beard that was equal to that of say, Albus Dumbledore, all I would do during Calculus is stroke my magnificent manbeard.

...as opposed to womanbeard...?

I need to think these through a bit more.

Oh, and I would be a horrible match for No Shave November because, uh, the ladies like their men clean-shaven!  Yeah!  And...and...and SENIOR PICTURES!!  I gotta get those taken, and I don't want to look like a registered sex offender...uh...lumberjack...

And...

And...

And...

Oh screw it.  Even Ke$ha wouldn't like my beard.