I'm Thankful for This?

So today I get the pleasure of working on this delightful post from my uncle's computer.

My uncle lives in Eastern Nebraska, which is about ten miles before what you less-educated Americans call "Pancake Country."

Trust me, there are hills in Nebraska.  You may sound surprised, but there actually is a change in altitude of more than ten feet.

Now I know that your mind is probably blown, but trust me on this when I say it.  Besides, I have a whole story I supposedly have to write.

See, the reason I'm at my Uncle's house, which I'll probably also be calling my Aunt's house (Silly family, what with their marriages and living under one roof), is that yesterday was the absolutely delicious Thanksgiving Day.  Thanksgiving Day is one of my favorite holidays, for a whole multitude of reasons.

1. I love it for the food.
2. I love it for the great family times that accompany it.
3. I love getting to see the "Hick" side of my family.

But in all honesty, I was excited because I got to skip a Calculus test and read George Orwell's 1984 on the way here, which is probably the greatest book in all existance.

Now, my Aunt and Uncle live on the outskirts of this neat little town in Nebraska (which narrows it down to every city in the state aside from Lincoln and Omaha), and as my folks and I drove through that small town and off to Aunt and Uncle's quaint little chicken/corn farm, it seemed like everyone that I was texting (a whopping one person) on my cool little phone was suddenly either angry with me or bored with me.

Then I found out that Aunt and Uncle live in a dead zone.

I haven't been able to send or recieve a text message since Wednesday afternoon.  It's a miracle that I haven't gone into some comatic state or something.  I've spent the entire two days without technology with Aunt, Uncle, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Sister, Other Aunt, Other Uncle, Loud Cousin and Baby Cousin.

And Aunt and Uncle's various assortment of cats and horses--uh, dogs.

And so my Epic (not really) Thanksgiving Tale begins...

I am Such a Failure

So it turns out I didn't win that blog-scholarship (blogarship?) thingie.  In retrospect, I may have acted rather rash when I pretty much insulted them for not having any apartments near my college, completely shattered the rules, made the whole website look bad, and  Rick rolled the judges in the process.
If you hadn't read this atrocity of a blog post, just click right here for my take on the scholarship: Selling My Soul for a Scholarship.

Also, in retrospect, the title was a little suggestive.

You know, I was pretty much in the wrong for the entirety of the blog post.

And to my frenemies at Vacancy.com, I am deeply, thoroughly sorry for having to put you through that whole mess.

Wait.

No I'm not.  It was payback.  How dare they not explore a relatively obscure college, and then not give me any material to put in an absolutely beautifully-crafted blog post?

Some people can be so selfish.

I Think the Correct Word is "Quirky"

I think my phones have been designed by the kinds of people who should spend less time designing phones and more time designing answers into their tests so they can finally pass high school.

That sounds a bit harsh, but I think that phones are kinda starting to go the way of...well...the things that get new, sweet gadgets and gizmos and improvements yet just still get worse and worse every time an upgrade comes out.

It's been a long day; give me a break on the figurative language for the duration of this post.

Five Reasons This Freaking Printer Hates Me

I'm a little cheesed right now.  See, I have a busy day ahead of me and I can't spend a whole lot of time on my computer.  Unfortunately, I have to print a few sheets out from the internet.

That means doing battle with my printer.

Well, see, this printer is a pretty nifty device.  Or so it thinks.

It copies!

It scans!

It prints!

It's fan-freaking-tastic!

No it's not.  And I've got five reasons to prove this theory.

A Typical Day of Artsy-Fartsy

Yeah, I'm not done with school yet.  If you are unaware of this, you're probably completely new to my blog or live under a rock.  This is only like my fifth or seventh or eighth post dedicated to happenings at school.

Turns out that when you go to a place for six or more hours a day, it's all you want to complain about.  Who knew?

However, it turns out that there are a couple distinct part of my day that I've yet to really talk about, and personally, I think it ranks alongside eating Nutella bagels in terms of being interesting.

If you've never seen me with Nutella, that joke probably made a lot less sense than it should.

From Mild Mannered Nerd to...

There is one specific day of school that everyone experiences at least once or thrice per year.

Providing they have terrible eyesight, which is incredibly fitting for me.  My eyesight is abysmal.  The only people I know who have worse eyesight than me is my mom, my sister, and Helen Keller.

So I would say that 90% of the reason I was incredibly unpopular in Junior High was because I walked around like this:

There Goes My Hero (Epic Music)

When I was really little, my hero was Mickey Mouse.  I watched "The Spirit of Mickey" like it was a visual bible.  I had a little red Mickey Mouse shirt which I wore about three times a week (Usually with Cowboy boots, because let's face it, Woody from "Toy Story" is everyone's hero too).

You can imagine the sheer, sugar-crazed joy that I felt when I got the news that I'd be going to Disneyland.

No, not DisneyWORLD, my family is not that cool.  We're much classier.

And by classier, I mean they didn't want to expose me to the human antique show that is the population of Florida.

More Like No WAY November

So a year or so ago, I came across this test of masculinity called "No Shave November."

And if you're a smart reader, you'll know that I'm not actually up for this whole "Avoid the Razor Like the Plague" thing.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I personally think it's awesome that we have the ability to become lumberjacks in such an organized fashion.

Yeah.  You try and put the words "lumberjack" and "organized" in the same sentence.

And if you CAN do that, try "lumberjack" and "fashion."

Gotcha there, huh?