Suddenly I Suck at Blogging

Oh, shit.

It's been six months since I've updated this blog.  It's 12:08 on a Wednesday night (Thursday Morning?), and I'm skyping my friend Juliet and she tells me "I haven't checked your blog in forever."

To which I, in the most professional and intelligible way possible, responded with "Well crap."

So here I am.  But where have I been?  Hell, where haven't I been?  I've been friggin' everywhere.

Except Mars.  Haven't really gone there yet.  Or Florida.  Or, if we're just talking about these last three weeks, my house.  See, I had myself a bit of a busy semester and upon my triumphant (read: not triumphant) return to the glorious (read: not glorious) state of Minnesota, I looked at my one true friend and have been sleeping with her since I got here.

The true friend is my bed.

Okay, so you, my faithful readers (seriously, I have managed to get constant, albeit minimal traffic on this blog daily without any new content and I really wish I knew why) were probably expecting a bit more exciting of a blog post about my life that was suddenly too cool to blog about.  But in reality, I haven't been blogging for two reasons.

Reason number one:  The past few months have been some of the most ridiculously and unnecessarily stressful months of my entire life.  Apart from being a full-time student, I got to juggle a new job, a role in NMU's production of Les Miserables, a role in NMU's production of William Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors, women, hallway drama, inconsistent health, lack of sleep, lack of motivation, and a literal buttload of homework (that is the official scientific term for it, I've checked).  I was told that this is what being an adult is like.  But I hate it.  I mean, really hate it.  Is this what being an adult is all about?  Because I definitely did not sign up for this.  I signed up to be the real-life equivalent of Tony Stark and I only have $800 in my bank account.

...which, compared to about 80% of my friends in Michigan, is Tony-Stark level richness.  I can afford the nicer ramen noodles.

But most of that reason for not blogging pales in comparison to the sad truth that I've had to come across as I worked my way through this hellhole of a semester:

My life is incredibly boring.  The entirety of my semester involved waking up, bathing, eating, going to class, going to work, going to rehearsal, and in the off-hours, sleeping or doing homework.  I became a slave to routine and within days, Dorsey Sprouls had become Dorzombie Sprouls.

As you can tell, my taste in puns has not improved in the slightest.

But back to Dorzombie.  As I said, I was trapped in routine.  Each day had its own set of events that happened each and every week, and I grew to hate it.  Something about doing the same thing every day reminded me a little too much of high school.

But another thing it made me think about was how if anything is more routine than what I was doing, it was working.  Being an adult. Being...mature.

The thought just sickens me.

But another scary thought came to mind.  I am growing up.  I'm almost halfway through college.  Hell, in just under a year and a half, I'll have crossed that final roadblock into becoming an adult by turning 21 (although I can still use the "I can't rent a car yet, trust me I'm a kid" excuse until I'm 25, but who is really making a point to rent a car on their 25th birthday).  In all actuality, this, my first taste of being an adult, has made me lose the motivation to keep writing this.  This blog helped me vent out most of my anger back in high school, even if the topics were mundane and the process really not thought out (5 reasons this printer hates me?  What am I, Buzzfeed?).  And if I get too routine, how much longer will this blog even last?  Two more posts?  Twenty?

Or do I have to embrace my inner child again, and go back to complaining about things that don't really matter and I really don't even care about?

And when did I get to be this way?  When did I become philosophical?  Is that even the right word?  I don't know even.  What am I even talking about anymore?

Okay.  Enough with this metaphysical stuff.  That was my excuse as to why I haven't been blogging.  Here's what you've missed during the (much too long) commercial break, along with photographic evidence proving that I'm not just lying for the sake of making excuses.

AUGUST:

• Finished up my internship and bathed in money that I actually had for once in my life (some of which I lost to the price of band-aids.  Note to future, richer self:  Bathing in money=paper cuts).
• Was in a neat production of The Three Musketeers.
• Went to college a week early to ditch my high school friends be on my dorm building's welcome crew, which was essentially moving boxes and trying to be nice to people.
• Told myself to do less theatre, until I found out that NMU was doing Les Miserables for their musical, which made me whip out a bottle of mustard so I could eat my words.
• Started work as a hardware tech support guy, which is basically me being technologically retarded helping out teachers who are just a bit more technologically retarded.

Monsieur de Treville?  MORE LIKE MONSIEUR DE TRE-AWESOME

(I apologize for this caption, it was all I could think up)

SEPTEMBER:

• Auditioned for the plays I told myself I wouldn't (and made it in, due to my impressive charisma and/or the penis joke I had in my monologue).
• Spent $180 on art supplies for one illustration class (bye-bye, money, it's been real).
• I was in a homecoming parade, so I looked a lot cooler than I really was (which is actually becoming kind of a constant thing).

This is Gordie the Koala.  I think he's dead now.

OCTOBER:

• Evolved further into my love for Pokémon (GET IT?) by getting a Nintendo 3DS and Pokémon X (Remember that "I have money" thing?  LOL cute).
• Did not make any awful Halloween Party decisions this year.
• Won a costume contest for portraying Quail-Man from the 90s show Doug (it always helps to pander to 90s kids).

As you can see, I'm wearing my lucky underwear.

NOVEMBER:

• Made sure you all heard the people sing (that means Les Miserables happened).  Achieved an extra weekend of shows, and a standing ovation at each performance, clearly because of my bit role as the Army Officer, and not because our Jean Valjean was actually Broadway's very own Paul Truckey, who even has his own (incredibly unsettling, so naturally, I linked it for you) fan page!
• Had two Thanksgiving feasts in two days, and didn't end up like that fat guy in Monty Python's Meaning of Life (Which is even more unsettling, and I would have linked it, but I'm not that much of a douche...also because I felt kinda sick looking for which picture/video would be appropriate for the situation.  Spoiler alert:  None of them whatsoever)
• Finally broke down and got a Netflix account (which may or may not have helped me not write a blog post, but don't tell anyone).

German feasts > Actual Thanksgiving feasts

DECEMBER:

• My first Christmas present was having two cavities filled (and who said Christmas wasn't fun?).
• Found out my next illustration class would cost $215 instead of $180 (LOL money this isn't funny anymore, where did you go).
• Rang in the New Year in the best way: bitching about how awful Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve has become with my mother.

And to all a good ni--uh, to all a good early afternoon.

And yeah.  There you have it.  I'm out of hibernation.  I'm no longer burned out.  I'm ready to blog on a regular schedule again.  I got past that "man I have nothing interesting to say" part of this funk, and I'm ready to show you guys some of the best Growls of my life.

See you in five months.

HAHAHA kidding, I should be a bit more prolific than that, but just in case I'm not, you can find out all about my zany adventures by following me on Twitter or Instagram or even look at my drawings on Tumblr, which I should be updating a bit more regularly once the new semester starts.  If not, well, I really don't know what to tell you.  But you probably could have guessed that by reading this post.

But until I see you again, here are a few drawings I made over the past semester.  Hope they fill you with joy and a desire to give me more web traffic.

Okay, for real though.  I'll see you guys later this month (probably).