The Name's the Game

Okay, everybody.  Confession time.  There is a small speck of information that I feel like I actually need to share with people before I become a superstar in all things media.  Or, more accurately, your friendly neighborhood hobo.

My first name, is in fact, and to be fully, 100% honest with you, is Dorsey.

This creative name may come as a surprise to most of you, but as we live in a world where creativity is based solely off of a post you saw on either Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, or 4chan, and even that’s a stretch, I'm not surprised.  This point being, originality being seen somewhere in the sidewalks of Northern Michigan University is kind of like hitting a jackpot.

This would turn into a nice, self-inspiring post about how wonderfully unique I am, and how truly blessed I am to have such a crazy and creative name and how it inspires crazy, incredible stories, but I don’t feel like turning this blog into a sapfest JUST yet.

Also, the highest excitement I got recently was getting cast in Legally Blonde, the musical, which is among my least favorite musicals of all time.  Why did I audition?  I have no idea.  Why did I even get into the idea of acting ridiculous on stage, often doing things most people would never dream of doing in public in front of large crowds?

Is it my name?

No, don't be an idiot.

Case in point:  Theatre people are insane.  I’m just filling the role I was given.

Hah.  Actor puns.

Aside from all this jargon about theatrics and subpar musicals made after awesome movies (yes, I like Legally Blonde the movie, no I am not gay), I still find myself genuinely surprised almost every time I introduce myself to people.  For eighteen years, most of my introductions have gone a little like this:

Almost immediately, I am asked where I got such a unique name.  I used to answer this part with great difficulty, but with college, you have to introduce yourself to new people basically every two or three days.  That means that I have answered it so often, I say the answer now with such efficiency that I sound like this:

Hey, you try mixing the name “Dorsey” with “robot.”  It’s a lot harder than it looks.  In fact, comment on this post to get a shoutout in Friday’s Douchebag Darrel or something.  The best Dorsey robot name wins.

We’ll see just how avid my followers are now.  Right now, I’m expecting 0 comments, so I should be easy to impress.  But enough of this.  Back to the story.

Is it fully accurate?  I think so.  I’d have to ask my dad about it when he comes to pick me up for Thanksgiving break, if either of us remember this by the time we leave.

But back to the name.  It doesn’t just end there.  No.  Usually it goes on to the person saying various things my name sounds like.

[horsey]

[dorsal fin]

[door]

[duhh]

Remember what I said earlier about creativity?  Still applies. 

Usually, after the mess of finding out my first name, they find out my last name.  Now, here’s probably the craziest thing about my last name.  It’s apparently hard to pronounce.

These are actual, and shockingly common mispronunciations of my name.  In fact, it’s gotten to the point where I’ve just had to embrace it.

FUN FACT:  It’s one of the reasons that my blog is called “Growls by Sprouls.”  The two words rhyme.  It was originally titled something like dorsey-sprouls.blogspot.com, which is infinitely classier and probably won’t end up screwing me out of a future career like an angsty blog about growling will, but I’m a sucker for rhyming and catchy titles.

One more reason I’m likely to become a hobo, yo.

But back to the last name.  Once people get their heads wrapped around the fact that, yes, my name is, in fact, pretty abnormal, they tend to get really excited.

“Oh, Dorsey, that’s such a cool and unique name!”

“I am well aware of this.  I get it all the time.”

And I do.  People always tell me that I have a cool, awesome, wonderful, fantasmagorical name.  And you know what?  They're right.  I do.  I like my name.  I don’t need their approval, though, even though they say it constantly, as if I was horribly judged as a child for having such a different name.

Actually, now that I think about it, it almost makes too much sense.

And as for getting this response most to all of the time I introduced myself?  It was annoying at first, but then I decided to have a little fun with it.

I don’t know what’s more sad, that I want a name like Dorselus, or that some people actually buy that my name is, in fact, Dorselus.  But by the time that they eventually realize that it is, in fact, just Dorsey, they decide to see just how abnormally named my life is.  Unfortunately...

That’s what she said.

But to leave this on a much classier note, Growls by Sprouls now officially has a Facebook page!  If you aren’t already connected to me via Facebook (and that’d be about 98% of the people who actually read my blog), you can just click HERE and hit “like!” 

You know you want to.

And since I’m doing shameless plugs, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter, @growlsbysprouls.  Or do forget.  Whatever makes you happy.

And yes, I am well aware that I ruined a perfectly good blog post just to self-advertise.  Yes, I’m a horrible human being.  I think this has already been proven.