Facebook fascinates me. Some people love it to death, some people simply can’t stand it. Some people use it to connect with older friends, some use it to post defensive statuses about how they aren’t completely screwing their lives over by getting pregnant at sixteen, having their cover photo be an obvious pot reference (which is still technically illegal here in Minnesota), and having your beloved boyfriend’s profile picture being the two of you sitting down, drunk, and each having a pretty obvious vodka bottle in your hands.
Think that last part was a little too specific to actually happen? Yeah, it kinda happened on my newsfeed. Twice.
We’re pretty smart here in America.
But really, we as a nation (or even potentially as a planet) have a huge, really inexplicable love for social media. That, or (even scarier) a love of hating it. There are whole websites devoted simply to cringe-worthy internet posts. People love to see these kids “ruining their lives.” Death via YOLO, that kind of stuff. And where do I stand when it comes to social media and the kids too dumb to know their internet activity will make people judge them harshly for the rest of their life?
Well, I usually stand right in front of my laptop with a Coca-Cola, some Triscuits, and a cringe the size of Rhode Island on my face. And as much as some of these statuses, photos, and shared links disgust me to no end, it’s like watching a car crash. Or MTV. You see it derail and fall further and further into total garbage, think to yourself, man, I should totally do something, and then when you actually DO something, it’s to go to the bathroom on the commercial break.
If I remember correctly, this is how Rome fell. Only this time around, instead of bloody Coliseum games, we have catfights out in New Jersey.
Is a Jersey Shore reference even relevant anymore? I honestly haven’t watched more than an hour of TV at one time since like 2009. If not, we can just substitute New Jersey for some other location where reality shows are being filmed.
I wonder what the interviews for those shows are like. What kind of questions do they ask? “And would you feel comfortable dropping at least 17 F-Bombs per episode?” “How big is your sex drive?” “Is it possible to make that sex drive bigger?” “Are you prepared to be at least totally blackout drunk for 60-80% of filming?” “Do you have any STI’s that you can give to anyone else in the house?” “How do you feel about sex in a hot tub?” “Is your IQ over 70?” “It is? I’m sorry, this isn’t the show for you.”
Wait, wasn’t this post about Facebook to begin with?
Right. Facebook. Where to begin? Well, much like its younger sister, Twitter (You’d think it as a younger sister too with all the Bieber tweeters and whatnot), it’s really just a big popularity contest where the only people who come out on top are the ones who don’t even start to play the game to begin with.
In reality, Facebook is like the Twitter popularity contest on Easy Mode. You’ve got to maintain your popularity through pictures, statuses, shared links, comments, and all sorts of nonsense that we tell ourselves will make our lives a little more fulfilling. And one thing I’ve noticed as I browse the “most recent” news feed is that some of these kids have it down to a science. I’m talking daily selfie, camera tilted religiously at 15 degrees, same face, same makeup, rotating camera filters, and an almost endless supply of song lyrics and quotes they got off of the sappiest Tumblr accounts and Twitter profiles. Status updates pretty much made for a “like” up and online like clockwork. “Like if u luv ur grandma, ignore if u luv SATAN >:(” pictures being created and shared like Pokémon cards, and those expert “trolls,” who, instead of looking like THIS:
…look a bit like this.
(It’s funny because it’s not 2012 anymore LOLOLOLOL I’m a trole too guys)
Their statuses are at the same level of vague “I’m having a shitty day, please pretend to care” mixed with the occasional “I guess I know who my real friends are” and the rare (and by rare, I mean it friggin’ should be) LMS status. Sometimes, their statuses can even be really clever and well thought out. Like this person’s.
And to be fair, it’s not just Facebook. You’ve got Twitter,
And who else knows what else is out there on people’s smartphones.
And then, suddenly, out of nowhere (or perhaps good reason), come the people saying that today’s youth are the worst we’ve ever had. Saying that we all are becoming the devil’s kids, and that America and the world are just getting flushed down this metaphorical toilet and that there’s no way out. The floodgates open and the complainers come rushing in. Parents and grandparents sometimes, but oddly enough, it’s usually the kids that are the harshest towards their apparently “lesser” peers. I’ve actually seen more kids complaining about stupid kids than the actual stupid kids themselves.
And it’s not just the parents and kids. Even the babies are doing it too. (Warning: Hilarity follows this link, as it is the Onion)
By the way, that article is arguably the best thing I’ve read in a long time. You’d think this was over-the-top satire, but I actually know people who would honestly react like the parents in that story.
Now, is it just me, or was the family represented in that (fortunately) satirical article considerably scarier than all of the things that caused that (again, fortunately) satirical family? I mean, sure, those pregnant sixteen year olds are a tragedy, but at least they’re human and not a walking bomb of hatred towards anything that isn’t remotely similar to their own wants or desires.
These kids are running around on Facebook, talking about how the world is awful, how the world is unforgiving, and how everything is hostile, and then lashing out at the “stupid kids.”
Am I the only one that thinks this is a bigger problem than the kids who dun goofed all throughout their high school years? We’ve had those kids for years. It’s not a new development. Why are people suddenly losing all hope for our future because they see a bunch of Facebook statuses talking about “Blazin’ it up 420?”
It’s not like the stupid people are actually multiplying. It’s just easier for them to showcase the stupid things that all kids and teenagers do. Think about what a kid would have to do to broadcast that dumb tattoo they got if it was 1963 instead of 2013. They’d more or less have to run around the entire city just showing it off to people, compared to snapping a picture on their iPhone and uploading it to Facebook for the entire world to see.
So, kids. Is it really them making the world more hostile? Is it them who are making this world practically uninhabitable? Are they making your life the shitstorm you say it is?
Or is it you?
It’s your world; you’re the one who makes life what it is. So I’ll let you decide. In the meantime, here’s a bit of advice.
Okay, maybe that’s a bad example.