Hey guys. It’s been a while. About two years or so, it seems.
I feel like this should be the time to apologize, but I really don’t think any of you care anymore. Who reads blogs anymore anyway? This isn’t a video that’s under a minute making some dumb joke that the entire Internet has made about sixty thousand times already. It’s a blog post that’s making dumber jokes that even the “#like4myvalidationofexistence” would even dare to say. It’s a series of words no one will read except for my future employers, who will prominently burn my resume into a thousand pieces upon reading the title of this piece of pseudo-internet literature.
Didn’t you miss me?
No, come back, this gets better, I promise.
No, that’s a lie. Get out while you still can.