Providing they have terrible eyesight, which is incredibly fitting for me. My eyesight is abysmal. The only people I know who have worse eyesight than me is my mom, my sister, and Helen Keller.
So I would say that 90% of the reason I was incredibly unpopular in Junior High was because I walked around like this:
Actually, that isn't very accurate; I spent my junior high years in recluse with my pack of loser friends in a secluded area of the school band room, blasting our sorrows and woes about being unpopular out through the trumpet and/or trombone.
Then some of my friends got popular and realized they were better than band.
I was one of them, minus the popular thing.
Oh no.
I just realized that this is going to turn into one of THOSE blogs. You know what kind of blog I'm talking about. The one about self-realization and about how truly depressing my life was and about how I overcame all obstacles and got a model of a girlfriend and lived happily ever after. Or something along those lines.
Well, I can guarantee you that that is not how this story will end up whatsoever like that.
Why? Because this blog has nothing to do with my past.
Also, if I had a model of a girlfriend, I wouldn't be wasting my time on a blog.
I really hope my current girlfriend doesn't read this.
But like I was trying to point out, I have really thick glasses. The summer I moved up to high school, I convinced my parents to let me switch to contacts, so that by September, I would at least look somewhat attractive to the kids I had yet to meet yet (two junior high schools all ended up going to the same high school, in case you couldn't quite figure that out).
Yeah, I somewhat overlooked the greasy hair and acne and awkward baggy clothes, but I blame cartoons and teen movies that glasses are solely what made me unattractive.
Thank you, Nickelodeon. You'll be hearing from my lawyers when I actually can afford one.
But the point is, while half of the school looked at me like:
"Oh, there goes a kid. That's cool. Moving on."
The kids that I had known and gone to school with thought:
"OH MY GOD THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIS FACE"
Okay, I know there's a lot of backstory here, but I promise you that this post has nothing to do with my past.
Then again, I could have started with "I used to wear glasses, you know."
Now would be the point where I could start over, but let's face it, I'm an impulse guy.
Also, I really feel sad when I have to delete so many words.
Anyway, the point is, after two and a half years of wearing contacts, every time I wear my glasses to school, it's always the same vocal exchange:
FRIEND: WHOA WHOA WHOA. You...wear...GLASSES?
ME: Uh, yeah. My contact tore this morning, so I just decided to wear my glasses.
FRIEND: Dude, you need to get some contacts again. It looks like there's something wrong with your face.
ME:
Okay, and there goes my overused meme of the post.
See, I wouldn't have a problem with that whole exchange if it wasn't for the fact that all the friends from the old junior high I went to were the people who were most vocal about my face problems.
Then again, they might be trying to avoid any contact with their past selves.
That actually makes a lot of sense.
Just disregard the entire post up until this point.
Wait.
I have nothing else to say.
*crickets*
Uh, what did the fisherman say to the magician?
...
"PICK A COD. ANY COD" (I'm so clever)
...
Okay fine. Don't laugh.
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