2012: Review and a Resolution

Well, here we are.  December 28, 2012.  In three days, the year will be over and it’ll be the start of 2013 CE.  Not AD, though.  Can’t have Jesus anymore.  CE. 

But now isn’t the time for my rant on what should and shouldn’t be politically correct, even though now that we’re technically out of Christmas season here in the states and I don’t have to worry about spreading the Ho-Ho-Holiday cheer.  Back to being Scrooge!

Well, not quite yet.  As I said in the first paragraph, and as well as the title, 2012 is almost over.  I’m actually pretty okay with that, but 2012 was a pretty huge year for me, and as I have recently had a spike in followers (That’s right, ten followers is a spike to me), I figure it’s a good way to both relive my memories and show the newbies here at Growls by Sprouls just why they shouldn’t have followed me in the first place!  HOORAY

Well, it all started back on January 1, 2012 (duhh).  My super-chaotic, alcohol-fueled, busted-by-the-police party was watching Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Eve with my parents.

In other words, I sat on a chair until midnight, smiled a little, and went to bed at probably 12:30.


But enough about that, I had bigger fish to fry.  I was a senior in high school.  Top shit.  King of the world.  Not only was I that super cool kid with a blog, but my fantasies about being a cool kid with a blog were…well, not true.  In fact, a lot of how my high school years went can be summed up in my post, Dorsey on Graduation.

See what I did there?  ADVERTISEMENTS!

But no, seriously, I had bigger fish to fry.  I was in a play and captain of my school’s speech team, or forensics team, at the time.  The play was a nice little script about the Holocaust (and by nice I mean, well, you know how anything Holocaust-related goes).  I got to play a Nazi!

And a Jew!

It was a pretty interesting presentational play, and it was pretty well-received.  And as for the speech thing?  Well, I was in an interpretive duo with the prettiest man I have ever met.

We are gorgeous, don’t deny it.  Also, I think I explained in an earlier post what the rules of Duo are (two people act out a scene without using props or looking at/touching each other), but that was in one of my 2011 blog posts, and no one wants to read those again.

Bad times, my friends. Bad times.

Anyway, speech dragged on to the big year-end high school musical (which was a lot more epic than you’d think).  I was in a show called “Blood Brothers,”  and I played one of the leads, Mickey Johnstone.  Which of course, did wonders for my ego.

Meanwhile, I blogged on occasion, but suddenly came up with an idea.

It started out as just this, and all of the other “episodes” written on the yellow legal paper were all drawn in the span of about two days or so.  I had no intention of making it into an actual comic, but, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure Walt Disney had no intention of becoming the media juggernaut that teenyboppers sign their souls to for fame and fortune either, so I guess it all makes sense.

But back to Blood Brothers.  It was a show of immense drama, comedy, tragedy, and kick-ass music.  And I was a huge part of it!  I think the intensity and deep emotional ties to this show can be summed up in one picture.

Just kidding, it’s this one.

Yeah, turns out sports bras are a really good way to keep your mic pack in place during a musical.  Almost as good as they are at showing up on your news feed on Facebook and embarrassing you, as well as confusing your family, who was already unsure about how to take you when you came home wearing stage makeup like it’s nothing.

By the way, I look fantastic in eyeliner.

Just saying.  Then Prom happened.  And then this classy dude went to Prom, and, as seen in my most popular post, PROM 2:  Twice the Prom, Twice the Promiscuity, I had an…interesting time.

That’s me.  Ladies, send your marriage proposals to growls.by.sprouls@gmail.com.

It beats the emails telling me who to follow on Twitter, which are the only emails I get.

Such a stud.

Then I graduated High School, but again, as you’ve probably read, it wasn’t all that wonderful and exciting of a time for me.  If you’re confused, you obviously didn’t click the link where I talked about high school.  You make me sad.  Stop doing that.

This past summer was definitely a fun one.  For three months, I got to mix staying out late at bonfires with my friends with the stress-free environment of figuring out student loans, packing for college, finding a roommate, scheduling classes, freaking out over why I couldn’t schedule classes, getting my bike registered so I could actually have it on campus, and coming to terms with the fact that I would not have Caribou Coffee for three whole months.  THREE WHOLE MONTHS.

For those of you that don’t quite understand, allow me to tell you a parable.  A man left his home, where he had comfortably had delicious food at a restaurant his whole life.  At his new home, that restaurant was not there, but there was a shittier version called “Starboxes.”


Finally, though, I made it to college.  Immediately, I was cast in the play 1776, the musical about the signing of the Declaration of Independence.  And before you call America a country filled with egotistical Douchebags, well, we are.  I don’t know where I was going with this.  Here’s a picture of said play.

Now, I love college.  I love everything about it, minus the creeps, the weirdos, the socially inept having to become socially fluent, the socially fluent realizing that they aren’t socially fluent and believing they’ll be alone forever when they go to one party and no one hits on them (me), the parties themselves, and the dreaded AD 110 class.  The AD 110 class pretty much only applies to Northern Michigan University, but regardless.  It’s Hell.

I may sound like I don’t really like college at all, but, apart from the kickass theatre program, there have been three things that have made college beyond crazy awesome.
  1. Cards Against Humanity.  It's like Apples to Apples, but it describes itself as a "Party game for horrible people."  Which it is.
  2. Public Eye News.  You've heard my spiel about it.
  3. Totino's Pizza Rolls.

Oh, God yes.  Pizza Rolls.  Salty, messy, and downright beautiful works of nature.  They are literally the greatest invention ever.  You’d think, that as a college student, I would survive solely on cheap vodka and ramen, but no sir.  Orange Crush and Totino’s Pizza Rolls for me.

Hint to all Dorsey Chasers who are attractive females:  Make me this and I will LOVE YOU FOREVER

What is with me trying to appeal to the ladyfolk in this post?  I need to stop that.

Then, well, this happened.  I really don’t want to bring this to a low point, so I’ll just post a link HERE, to my fastest-growing post on the whole site.  You’ll see why.  Bring a tissue.

But after that low point, I managed to pass the semester with a 3.7 GPA, getting me on the prestigious Dean’s List.  Granted, you need a 3.25 to get ON said list, but still.

NMU.  Where the N stands for nowledge.

And here are a few other pictures that show what all I did this year.

Photobombing in West Virginia.  So boss I'm a CEO.

A self-portrait of myself won me money.  In essence, PEOPLE LIKE MY FACE

I found an actual keyblade.  Mom wouldn't let me buy it.

Lookit me, all artsy and stuff.  Yes, that is Douchebag Darrel.

Classy grad pic is classy.

And now here I am, post-Christmas, typing up these words.  I had a big year.  I gained about 25 followers or so since January, and I’d like to thank them, as well as the people who were there for me all since the beginning and had to deal with my…*shudder*… earlier posts.

So, to show my thanks, and to show my New Year’s spirit, I’ve got a bit of a New Year’s Resolution for you…

That’s right folks. 

douchebagdarrel.net.  An official website.  I figured that it needed a new location for two reasons.  The first, and probably most important, is that I think that this site is becoming less about the growls, you know, actual posts, and more about the douche.  The second, and this one actually didn’t occur to me at first, but now that the site’s pretty much up and running, is that the strips have become a lot bigger in size, and the legibility is a lot harder, and the setup I have here is a lot better for words and smaller pictures.  So the new site has much more room, and the comics themselves are much bigger.  If you head on over to the site now, you’ll see two comics colored when they weren’t before, and also this week’s episode (which, admittedly sucks, but it’s a plot-advancing strip, and I still haven’t found a way to make those funny).

The original seven strips on yellow legal pads will stay up (they’re kinda my own personal Spaghatta Nadle, even though its nowhere near as funny), but the rest will be taken down and my page will now direct to douchebagdarrel.net, where all 28 of the strips, and all future episodes, will be posted.  Also, since Google and Blogspot have been such a joy this past year and a half of blogging, it’s powered by Blogger!  So you can follow it the same way you follow mine.  If you run into problems with it, be sure to send me an email at growls.by.sprouls@gmail.com

Oh, and one more thing.  It updates twice a week now.

I told you I had big plans.

So go check it out.  douchebagdarrel.net.

You probably won’t regret it.


  1. Okay Dorsey, this is going to be a long comment - so be prepared (and don't bother replying because seriously I love long comments but I HATE REPLYING TO THEM MYSELF so I totally know how you'll feel about this. Just leave it here, in all its glory).

    I loved the Facebook promo picture featuring you and Jesus. When you first posted it on your Growls By Sprouls Facebook page, I was super excited because I knew the post would be SUPER AWESOMETASTIC!

    I laughed so hard on the YOLO part. Your life is so hardcore. I love it.

    It's so cool that you are an actor and that you participate in plays! You look dapper in a uniform/suit. I envy your confidence. I suffer from stage-fright. So yeah.

    *attempts to make a Pizza Roll and fails miserably*

    Congratulations for getting on the Dean's List! That's incredible. I never got on the Dean's List, mainly because there is no such concept here is this darned Third World Country. Or maybe there is, and I'm not that good of a student to be aware of it. O.O Apart from being super smart, you're also a brilliant artist! I love the self portrait that you drew, as well as the picture that features Douchebag Darrel and the nerdy giraffe. Brilliant stuff.

    ALL YOUR PICTURES MADE ME LAUGH ESPECIALLY THE PHOTOBOMB + SPORTSBRA ONES!!! You are hilarious. I admire the fact that you don't mind making fun of yourself for the sake of humor itself. I try doing that sometimes, but I have yet to reach the level of confidence you have whilst doing it. Maybe I'll post my ugly-yet-hilarious-face pictures on my blog? You've inspired meeeee.

    AND OMG OMG OMG. I was wanting to do a picture like the one you did, with my cartoon self + real self, but just as a Facebook cover photo. You executed the idea perfectly (and before me, wayyyy jealous now)!

    I am really happy that Douchebag Darrel got his own website. He is so glorious, he deserves it. ALLOW ME TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS, PLEASE? And be your first follower over there?

    Well, that's all for my comment. It's written in the white comment box so I'm not exactly sure how long it is, though I do feel it's pretty long, haha. THANKS FOR THE AWESOMEST POST EVER! ♥ (and ignore any typos and grammatical errors I may have made above).

  2. Gosh, I was literally smiling and laughing like retard throughout this post!
    I LOVE the way you write.. Simple yet so goddamn funny :D

    And I LOOOVE your art specially the Pikachu one :3 .. AND the funny side comics AND Douchebag Darryl! And all those plays you've done! Gosh, you're one talented guy.

    I'm surprised you don't have at the least 500 followers cuz dude, you're pretty awesome. Like, really. I mean it.

    Can't wait for more posts! Stay awesome ^.^

    1. Well, I am still relatively new in the blog world. I'm starting to pick up followers now, but it's through people like you spreading the word that I get noticed! Thanks for the comment, I'm glad I can make you smile like a retard. It's a good feeling :)

  3. First off,Furree gets a beeg hug for posting the link to you!
    You are so damn FUNNY.and unbelievable(sports bra??!but seeing is believing after all...).And crazy but it's all for a good cause(namely making ME laugh..see,I can beat you at the bloated ego game!),keep going!
    Looking forward to more dorky douchebagness!:)
    P.S. I've been repeating Growls by Sprouls for the past 15 minutes and it only gets funnier by the minute!
    Thumbs up for crazy real names(no offence Dorsey,I'm in the same boat!)

    1. Well I'm not one to whore out my own posts (wait, of course I am), but I actually did do a blog post on my name and how strange it is. I dot know if you got around to it, but you definitely should!

      I'm glad you liked the post :)

  4. "I think this is awkward and I'll get off now."

    1. Best accidental erection joke I've ever made.