October the 18, 12:25
I’ll be fully honest right now. I think that my Facebook is currently going through Armageddon…pug style. As I type this, the thirty-fourth pug-related piece of media has been posted. The log on my timeline says it was posted at 11:35 PM. The thirty-fourth pug. In seventeen days.
For the remaining survivors (as tragic and deadly as a Facebook wall full of pugs is), that averages to two posts per day for the past two and a half weeks.
That’s right. WEEKS. Two per day.
Currently, I am holed up on top of my loft bed in shock. My roommate is sitting, watching YouTube and playing Pokémon White 2. He acts like nothing is wrong, but I know, deep down, he can feel that the storm has just begun.
No, that’s just the rain. I should shut the window.
October the 18, 12:31
I didn’t shut the window. The air conditioning in the dorm room is pitiful, and the rain itself is not actually that bad. When I typed the word storm, I was referring to the pug thing on my Facebook wall.
It started out simple enough-with a Facebook post. I was young, naïve. Fresh out of high school. On June the 18, on the year 2012, I posted to my Facebook wall a single picture, with the caption “I like pugs.”
I think it is safe to include this picture, as it is important evidence that must be saved for the future generations of children, so they know what truly destroyed the Facebook of one Dorsey Sprouls.
Of course, I thought it was safe to post a single picture. It was humorous. It got laughs. An astonishing twenty-seven people “liked” it. I felt like I was the king of the Facebook world.
But had I known it would all go to hell in a handbasket…purgatory in a paw-basket…or purgatory…you get the point. If I had known what was going to occur, I would have deleted the photo within seconds.
It was too dangerous.
It didn’t seem that way at first. No, after the surprising success, things went back to normal.
I’m currently checking my timeline to see when it all changed…I’m almost there…aha. I found the original picture. Now to just go slowly forward and to see when they started coming…
Five days later, a second picture was posted…that’s funny. I don’t recall posting it. Who did?
It couldn’t be…
I am currently in too much of a distress right now to continue. I must go to bed. Perhaps in the morning, my mind will have cleared some.
Perhaps, in the morning, I will wake up and it would all be a horrible, horrible nightmare…
How could she…
October the 18, 9:53
It was no dream. I dreamt of a pre-graduation ceremony basketball game.
I think the massive influx of pug pictures is slowly driving me to insanity.
October the 18, 13:13
No, I will not conform to American time expectations like I do any other time of day or any other blog post. It is too important to get my story out.
Back to the traitor. I thought that she was my friend. Yet she was the frst to post a pug. She started this downfall.
I just yelled at her over the internet. She deserved it.
October the 18, 16:34
Man, typing blog posts during class is hard. But now classes are over, and I can retreat back to my hideout.
Another pug was posted today. Their wrinkled smiles are starting to haunt my imagination with squeaky barks and snorting.
It’s terrifying, yet strangely wonderful…I suspect it has finally begun to drive me pug-shit crazy.
I suppose that I have to forgive my “friend” who posted the picture. She didn’t know what was soon to come…
No one did.
Things quieted down for a while. Throughout all of July, as well as the first half of August, there were no pugs. Then I posted the second photo.
And that was when the dog doo really hit the fan.
Five days later, my “friend” sent the second pug picture, a delightful picture of pug socks. That was when people got the idea to post more pugs. Soon another “friend” posted a picture.
At first, it was a neat little quirk that was on my wall…just a couple pug pictures here and there. Then I posted the third pug picture.
The caption read “I need to stop the pug stuff soon.”
It was a joke.
My Facebook friends didn’t think so, and by the end of September, I had amassed a small collection. I thought the fad would die as I posted other pictures, other statuses, but it didn’t.
By October, the Pug-aggedon was in full force. Pugs were posted daily, and in some cases hourly. I practically breathe their tan and black fur now. It was only a matter of time until the inevitable happened. It grew to Twitter.
The pug virus was in full force. I debated just abandoning all social media networks, in the hopes that it would all be over soon. I stopped posting pug pictures. The virus wouldn’t spread from the internet. It simply couldn’t.
But it did.